Photo: Moyan Brenn from Italy, CC BY 2.0
Flirting in Japanese: Polite, Charming and Respectful
A warm, live hour of Japanese for complete beginners who want to connect with people. You will learn how to start a conversation politely, give compliments that land well, invite someone for coffee or a meal, swap LINE contacts, understand the difference between 好き and 愛してる, and say no (or hear no) kindly. Japanese communication is often indirect, so we also learn to read a soft "no" and respect it. Every phrase comes with romanization, so you do not need to read Japanese script yet.
After this hour you can
- Start a polite conversation and ask about someone's hobbies
- Give natural compliments and answer one modestly
- Invite someone out with the soft 〜ませんか? form
- Swap LINE contacts and send a friendly follow-up
- Understand 好きです, 付き合ってください and why 愛してる is rare
- Say no politely, recognise an indirect no, and take no gracefully
- 0′–5′
Welcome
Know how the class works and the ground rules: polite, respectful, consent first.
- 5′–10′
Kana taster: words of the heart
Recognise hiragana and katakana and read a few dating words.
すき (好き)
suki
say skee
liking, to like
こい (恋)
koi
say koh-ee
romantic love, being in love
+ 4 more on your phrase sheet
- 10′–17′
Starting a conversation politely
Open a friendly conversation, ask a few easy questions and close it nicely.
すみません、ちょっといいですか？
sumimasen, chotto ii desu ka?
say soo-mee-mah-sen, choht-toh ee dess-kah?
Excuse me, do you have a moment?
お名前を聞いてもいいですか？
o-namae o kiite mo ii desu ka?
say oh-nah-meh oh kee-teh moh ee dess-kah?
May I ask your name?
+ 7 more on your phrase sheet
- 17′–23′
Compliments
Give a natural compliment and answer one modestly.
かっこいいですね。
kakkoii desu ne.
say kahk-koh-ee-ee dess neh.
You look cool. / That's so cool.
かわいいですね。
kawaii desu ne.
say kah-wah-ee-ee dess neh.
You're cute. / That's cute.
+ 6 more on your phrase sheet
- 23′–29′
Asking someone out
Invite someone out with the soft 〜ませんか? form and agree on a day.
今度、一緒にコーヒーを飲みませんか？
kondo, isshoni kōhī o nomimasen ka?
say kohn-doh, ees-shoh-nee koh-hee oh noh-mee-mah-sen kah?
Would you like to get a coffee together sometime?
一緒にご飯に行きませんか？
isshoni gohan ni ikimasen ka?
say ees-shoh-nee goh-hahn nee ee-kee-mah-sen kah?
Would you like to go for a meal together?
+ 5 more on your phrase sheet
- 29′–34′
Swapping LINE and following up
Ask to exchange LINE and send a friendly message after meeting.
LINE、やってますか？
rain, yattemasu ka?
say rah-een, yaht-teh-mahs kah?
Are you on LINE?
LINE交換しませんか？
rain kōkan shimasen ka?
say rah-een koh-kahn shee-mah-sen kah?
Shall we exchange LINE?
+ 4 more on your phrase sheet
- 34′–40′
Feelings: suki desu vs aishiteru
Understand how feelings are expressed in Japanese and why 愛してる is rare.
好きです。
suki desu.
say skee dess.
I like you. / I have feelings for you.
好きな人
suki na hito
say skee nah hee-toh
someone I like, a crush
+ 4 more on your phrase sheet
- 40′–47′
Saying no politely, and taking no gracefully
Say no kindly, recognise an indirect no, and respond to a no with grace.
ごめんなさい。
gomen nasai.
say goh-men nah-sai.
I'm sorry. (the usual way to turn down a confession)
今はちょっと…
ima wa chotto…
say ee-mah wah choht-toh…
Right now it's a bit… (a soft no)
+ 6 more on your phrase sheet
- 47′–57′
Practice: a language-exchange café
Run a polite mini-conversation from first hello to an invitation, with a yes or a no.
- 57′–60′
Recap and this week
Remember the key phrases and know what to practise this week.
Japanese pronunciation is friendly for English speakers: five clear vowels and few difficult sounds. What makes flirting different is style: Japanese tends to be indirect and modest, compliments are often brushed off politely, and a "no" is often soft (ちょっと… "it's a bit…") rather than a clear "no". Today we use polite です/ます forms, which are right for anyone you have just met. Japanese has pitch accent, not stress: keep every syllable about the same length.
- Zoom on a computer, tablet or phone
- A microphone; headphones with a mic are best
- Somewhere you are happy to speak out loud
- Pen and paper, if you like. No Japanese needed.
Do I need to know any of the language already?
No. Every class is for complete beginners. We start from hello, and everything is explained in English. If you already know a little, it will be a good warm-up, but it will feel easy.
What happens in the hour?
A short welcome, then the sounds (or, for Japanese and Korean, a first look at the writing), greetings, introducing yourself, numbers to ten, ordering at a café and the phrases that get you out of trouble. Then you practise in small breakout rooms and we finish with a recap. Each class page shows the hour minute by minute.
Will I have to speak?
Yes, that is the point, but gently. Most of the time the whole class repeats together with microphones on, so nobody is singled out. Near the end you practise in breakout rooms of 2 or 3. Your camera is up to you.
How big are the classes?
At most 12 people, so everyone gets to speak and ask questions.
How much is a class?
One class is one payment, and you see the price before you pay. Nothing renews and there is no subscription.
Can I cancel or move my class?
Yes. Write to support@bunevents.com at least 24 hours before the start and we will refund you in full or move you to another time, whichever you prefer.
